The Secret of Timing

There is an old joke that goes something like this:

Thing One: Ask me "what's the secret of great comedy?"
Thing Two: Okay. What's the secret of gr--
Thing One: Timing!

Great timing is not something I associate with French history--and may explain why the French love mimes and Jerry Louis. Timing is not one of their cultural strengths.

Just off the top of my head, here is my list of Top French Timing Disasters:

1. L'Arc de Triomphe.

Commissioned by Napoleon to commemorate his army's victory in 1804, Napoleon went on to numerous other victories, followed by defeat and exile, escape, the Hundred Days, final defeat at Waterloo. . .and the Arc was still under construction.

Subsequently, the Bourbons were "restored" to the throne. Charles X, Louis XVIII and Louis-Philippe ruled France before the Arc was finally finished in 1836.

Way to commemorate Napoleon, guys.

2. Petit Trianon

As mentioned below--commissioned by Louis 15 for his mistress Madame de Pompadour. Who died before it was finished. I suppose he just used it for his next mistress?

3. The Affair of the Necklace

Again, Louis 15 commissioned an incredible gift for his mistress--at this time Madame du Barry. Designed to be more spectacular than any other jewelry then in existence, it took many years for the jewelers to collect the stones necessary for its construction.



Meanwhile, Louis 15 died of smallpox, and du Barry was sent from court.

But the jewelers finished it anyway, and tried to get Marie-Antoinette to buy it. She refused, and ultimately it was the subject of a scam in which a prostitute fooled a gullible clergyman into thinking she was the queen and wanted him to buy it for her. Sadly, he was taken in, and the rest of the nation believed M-A to have been capable of such greed, so the whole thing backfired onto her--and she had literally nothing to do with it.

4. The Grand Complication

This may or may not be true, but once again an eminent jeweler was commissioned to create a fabulous watch for Marie-Antoinette. It was referred to as "The Grand Complication" because of all the various items it was supposed to keep track of--time, phases of the moon, astrological signs, probably even tides and mood swings. It was completed in the 1830s. For those of you not keeping track of exact dates--Marie-Antoinette lost her head in 1793.

5. The Opera Garnier

Begun in 1861, this was designed to be a theater for the pageant of society, built for Napoleon III. Both lavish and theatrical, Garnier was also required to build a private, secure, entrance for Napoleon III, who was skittish following an assassination attempt at another public building. As construction dragged on, and costs mounted, Garnier began to reach the limit of what he could accomplish. The opera building opened in 1875.

The secure entrace had been built, but by that time it was merely dressed stone. Or, as our tour guide put it "No money. No time. No Napoleon III. Who cares?" The whole elaborate security system--designed to move up to 50 horses with carriages into the building, to the private entrace to the Emperor's box--remains dressed stone to this day.

I love the French!